The car pulled through the small lot, the driver looking expectantly about settled his dark eyes on my bench just as my cell announced my ride was waiting. I stood on shaky legs, thankful for the rain as it explained away my streaks of mascara and wet cheeks, and walked the short distance. I entered the car, head lowered, asking to go home.
Home is where I now sit, writing words to ease my aching heart. A little over 24 hours has brought so much change, yet so much remains fixed, as it was on that bench yesterday morn. The rain has moved past, the sky is clear and the sun has somehow made its way to midday heights. My eyes have dried, but the red remains. As my eyes burn from tears shed, and my throat tightens to the thoughts and memories both joyful and sad, I find the hope and solace in my faith. Dear friends and wonderful family have given me comfort, but my faith and knowing that in some moment I will find myself surrounded by my lovely, dear, silly, serious, and magical Sam-Bo-Weenie has brought me peace.
Sam was a joy to care for, a joy to love. He gave so much more to me than I ever gave to him. He had a hard journey getting to our home... but find us and change us he did. We will miss his wake up calls, his marking messes, his kisses, and his unwavering intent on protecting HIS family. He was a good dog, a good boy, and a beautiful soul. He is and will forever be, a bit of love wrapped up with serious care, and given to me for a bit of time...
The redness will fade, as will the sadness for my loss of my lil companion. I know this. In time the soreness will ease, the rawness will heal, and I will find one moment where the fuzzy-ness has disappeared... a bit of time, and my happiness for my friend will out shine my sadness for myself...
Run fast Sam, chase those squirrels...
without a care, eat as much and as often as you choose... and try to remember, if you get a chance, to throw a howl up once in a blue moon for your momma.....
See you in a bit, my dear sweet Sam....
